Got a toothbrush?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
