Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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