Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
