Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
did i walk over a car last night?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
