I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
