I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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