I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
