hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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