So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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