It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
