Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
