im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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