her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
