I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
