I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Its about making memories worth repressing
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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