there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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