She is in my trunk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
