Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
