I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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