hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
