you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
