so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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