that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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