I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
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Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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