get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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