Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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