i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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