whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
