i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
