Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
