in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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