I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
