How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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