She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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