I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
