And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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