I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
