i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
