i came on her dog
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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