I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
