You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
