I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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