are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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