I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
