You're completely useless in the revolution.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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