Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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