i think my tv is drunk
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
