i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
