I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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