Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize