Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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