grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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