erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i now understand why vodka
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
