This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
