that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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