is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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