I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize